


Foreign Exchange Club: Episode 10-Apocalypse Mao

by egyptian



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egyptian/pseuds/egyptian
Summary: Does someone die? Maybe!





	Foreign Exchange Club: Episode 10-Apocalypse Mao

[Opening shot is Kiku and Shizu holding up a banner that reads “Maya's Fantastic World of Illusion]

Kiku and Shizu: Presenting Maya's Fantastic World of Illusion!

[Cut to Maya standing in the classroom wearing her top hat and tail coat. She has a weird little prop sitting on a desk]

Maya: Now I..

[There's a terrible explosion and the room is filled with smoke. We hear coughing and commotion]

Maya: Someone open a window!

Shizu: I can't breathe! I'm gonna be sick!

Principal: What in the....Maya! What did I tell you?

Maya: Dark magic escape technique!

[The smoke clears enough for us to see Maya trying to bail out the window. The principal is pulling her back in. In the background we see Shizu throwing up in a garbage can. Kiku is stumbling around blindly]

Principal: Get back in here you numbskull! We're on the third floor!

[Roll opener]

[Cut to the Wheel of Calamity spinning. It snaps to a stop on Paintball War. Cut to the a wide shot, showing the Principal on the stage, as well as the Sakai S3s and the Foreign Exchange Club. The principal is still blackened from the explosion, as are Maya, Kiku and Shizu.]

Principal: Well against all better judgement and reason we're going to be giving you little hellraisers paintball guns and sending you out into the park to shoot it out. Each team will have a flag to defend. If you get the other team's flag to your own base you win. If the other team runs out of competitors you win. You're out if you leave the park, or if you use anything other than the weapons we're providing. Questions?

Lynn: Are we supposed to run around the woods in our school uniforms?

Principal: No, you'll be provided with camouflage outfits.

Gin: But if we're all wearing the same outfits how will we keep from mixing the teams up?

Principal: Ah...one of the teams will wear something unique to identify them. Since you asked, I rule that the Foreign Exchange Club will pick what they wear.

Kiku: We choose cat ear hairbands!

[The rest of the team looks at Kiku with murder in their eyes, except Shizu]

Shizu: Oh how fun! (looks around at all the angry club members) What? 

Sakai #1: Where will this be held?

Principal: At the park that the Foreign Exchange Club trashed. There's a lot of unkempt underbrush to hide in and nobody cares if you damage the place. The contest will be held at the usual time on the usual day. Now if there's no further questions ladies, I will bid you good day.

[The gathering breaks up and the girls start to leave as a group]

Gin: Lynn, you're American...how do you shoot a gun?

Lynn: I have no idea. I've never even held a gun before.

Gin: You're kidding. How did we end up with the one American in the whole world who's never killed someone in cold blood? What are the odds?

Lynn: Gin, do you know anything about America that you didn't learn from movies or television?

Gin: What else is there to know?

Junko: I don't know if I'll be any help. This all sounds so scary!

Yayoi: Nah, this is going to be totally fun!

Nanae: Yeah, I've been wanting to get those Sakai girls for a while. Now I get my chance!

Kumiko: Alright everybody, let's get organized here. Remember that the goal isn't to shoot Sakai girls, however fun that's going to be. We need to get that flag and protect our own. I suggest we form two teams, one to attack and one to defend our own base. Since Gin and I are the senior club members we'll lead the two groups.

Gin: I call Nanae!

Kumiko: What?

Gin: We're picking teams. I want Nanae!

Kumiko: Oh, okay. Then I take Oki.

Gin: My servant Yayoi!

Yayoi: Hey! I resent that!

Kumiko: Lynn.

Gin: Ming.

Kumiko: Maya

Gin: Uhm...Shizu!

Kumiko: Ah (looks back and forth between Kiku and Junko) Kiku!

Kiku: I wasn't picked last! Yay!

Gin: Hmmm...Kumiko!

Kumiko: I'm on a team dummy!

Gin: Right. Junko I guess.

[Junko looks a little sad to be last]

Kumiko: Don't take it personally. Everyone knows you're the most soft-hearted of all of us.

Gin: Yes, well we can fix that.

Junko: (nervously) What?

Gin: You're no good at this sort of thing because you have no training. Don't worry though, because I have just the thing.

[Cut to Gin's bedroom. It's a sty. Junko and Gin are here, Gin is digging through a stack of DVDs]

Junko: How can you live like this?

Gin: Never mind that. I have just what you need to turn you into a stone cold killing machine.

[Gin holds up DVDs like First Blood, Platoon, Hamburger Hill and others like it. She puts the pile into Junko's hands]

Gin: I expect you to watch all of these before we get to the park on Friday. No faking either, I'm going to test you.

Junko: These look kinda scary..

Gin: That's good. Fear is good. Fear will keep you alive out there.

Junko: (long pause) You're so weird.

[Cut to the park. The Foreign Exchange Club is in their gear. Kiku's helmet says “Animal Lover” on the front, Shizu's says “Born to Kill”. Everyone has replica M-16s, except for Gin who has ivory handled six shooters and Nanae, who is packing a replica M-60. Their flag is set up inside a ring of sandbags]

Kumiko: Alright, I think the plan is pretty simple. Gin's team is the biggest, so it should be the attacking group. My team will stay back and guard the base.

Gin: (furtively) Now for our secret weapon. (takes out a cardboard box full of walkie talkies) I managed to acquire some surplus radios. We'll be able to stay in constant communication with each other.

[Gin passes the radios out, then her group forms up and starts to move out]

Gin: If you don't hear from us in an hour, that means we're dead. 

Kumiko: eh..right. Just keep your eyes open.

[Gin's group starts to move through the underbrush. Ming seems to notice the haunted look in Junko's eyes]

Ming: Junko, are you alright?

Junko: Yeah. Fine.

Ming: You sure? You don't seem normal.

Junko: Gotta keep my eyes peeled. Charlie's out there.

Ming: Who the hell is Charlie?

[Cut back to the base. The girls are all inside, behind the sandbags. Kiku is drawing in the dirt with a stick, everyone else is trying to stay alert.]

Kiku: War sure is boring.

Kumiko: Kiku, we've only been here ten minutes. Have a little patience!

Lynn: Yeah, just keep your eyes and ears open.

Maya: What? I can't hear you over the high pitched ringing.

Lynn: The heck?

Oki: She's still deaf from the explosion. Maya blew up the (hit by a paintball) Ow!

Lynn: Sniper! Everyone down!

[The girls duck down as more paintballs pepper their base. They look around, then see some bushes moving.]

Kumiko: Rock and roll!

[The girls pop up and trade fire with the Sakai S3s]

Kumiko: Gin, do you copy? Base is under attack! Fall back and help us! Gin, do you read me?

[Cut to Gin's group. Gin is staring at her buzzing radio in frustration. Gin's team is huddled up behind some bushes]

Gin: Piece of junk! All it does is buzz. (turns radio off) Alright, their flag should be right ahead, just past the blown up bridge. Let's move and wrap this thing up.

[The rest of the girls nod and they start to move forwards. Cut to Yayoi tripping over a string, which sets a number of cans with rocks in them rattling.] 

Yayoi: What the heck?

Nanae: It's an alarm! Ambush!

[Sakai girls jump out from both sides. Ming gets pasted about eight times, Yayoi twice. The rest of the girls turn and run. Shizu jumps through some bushes, only to find herself face to face with a claymore mine. She bends over to read the front]

Shizu: Face towards enemy? What is this?

[The mine explodes, completely covering her in paint.]

Nanae: Shizu! Noo! (blasts away with her gun)

Junko: (clearly freaking out) Victor Charlie! Charlie's in the trees! AAAAAAAGH!

[Junko starts firing wildly and charging the Sakai girls, who scatter before the wild assault. Junko vanishes into the fog of war]

Nanae: We've got to get out of here! Gin, let's fall back and regroup.

[The camera moves over slightly, revealing that Gin is a long ways away already.]

Nanae: I swear it's going to be me who kills her. (pasted repeatedly by paintballs)

[Cut back to the base. Everyone is standing around and reloading their guns, smiling and having fun]

Kumiko: Good job everyone! That was some nice shooting Kiku! I think you got three of them yourself.

Lynn: Sorry you're out of the game Oki.

Oki: Oh it's alright. I'm sorry I wasn't more help.

Kumiko: Don't worry about it. We can't expect to get through this game without losing players. That sort of thing is just going to happen, right?

Oki: Alright, well I don't want anybody to get in trouble, so I better get out of the park. See you guys later.

[Everyone waves as Oki leaves. After a few minutes we see Gin running full tilt out of the woods. She leaps over the sandbags and cowers]

Kumiko: What the heck? Gin, why didn't you answer me before? Where is your team?

Gin: They're all dead! Lost Ming and Yayoi. Lost Nanae and Shizu. It was brutal!

Kumiko: What happened?

Gin: Ambush. They were everywhere. It was like trying to fight the forest. You couldn't see who you were shooting. It was horror. (grabs the front of Kumiko's uniform and looks terrified) Horror!

Kumiko: (slapping Gin) Snap out of it! We've still got a challenge to win!

Maya: Oh man, are we all slapping Gin? (slaps Gin on the back of the head)

Gin: Ow! Stop that! No, we aren't all slapping me!

Kiku: Can we shoot her? (shoots Gin)

[Everyone looks in disbelief. Gin walks over and bops Kiku on the head]

Gin: You moron! I'm out of the game now!

Kiku: What? No way!

Kumiko: She's right. Gin's out.

Gin: (walking off) Bonehead!

Lynn: Well now what? They must know we've lost half our team. They'll be coming, right?

Kumiko: Yeah. They should be making their big push any time.

Maya: Hey, did anyone say where Junko is?

[Cut to the woods. We see the Sakai girls stealthfully moving forward in perfect military formation. After they pass we see Junko hiding under a tree. She watches them pass, then takes out her military radio]

Junko: (still shell-shocked) Victor Charlie in the area..unit wiped out. (turns on the radio-speaking English) Delta Fox X-ray, come in Delta Fox X-ray. Delta Fox X-ray do you read? This is 7079 requesting fire mission.

[Cut to wide high-angle shot of Kadena Air Base in Okinawa. Cut to a closer shot of a command building. Cut to the interior, where we see a bunch of men in US Air Force uniforms arguing. One appears to be a general]

Colonel: It's an old code sir, and it's not on the standard channel.

General: That's not what I asked. I asked if it checks out.

Colonel: (sighs) Yes, it all checks out. Callsign, codes and coordinates. I just find it difficult to believe that the Vietnam People's Army is carrying out an attack in downtown Tokyo.

General: Colonel, that's what makes our job so great. We don't have to believe. We just have to follow our orders. Right now our orders are telling us that brave American heroes are on the ground in terrible danger and they need our help. Make it happen!

[Cut to an AC-130 taking off from the airfield. Cut to Kumiko's team fighting it out with the Sakai girls. Maya gets hit in the back when the Sakai girls sneak around, then Kiku pops up and blasts the shooter and a couple others. She growls and vaults the sandbags, chasing the rest of them off]

Lynn: Um, wow Kiku.

Kumiko: No kidding. That...was kinda scary.

Kiku: This is my HOUSE!

Kumiko: You okay Maya?

Maya: What?

Kumiko: Never mind. Well we're down to three, but I think they should be short too. We should attack now, while we still have the initiative.

[Cut to right outside the park, where the girls are all lined up sitting on a park bench. Next to them we see the Sakai girls lined up in similar fashion]

Gin: I wonder how they're doing?

Nanae: I wonder how you'll look with a flat head?

Gin: Oh come on, let it drop already! 

Ming: Weird. Anybody else hear that?

[everyone else looks around]

Yayoi: I think so. Sounds like a jet, right?

[Cut to the woods in the park. Kumiko, Lynn and Kiku are making their way forward. Suddenly someone jumps out of the brush and grabs Kumiko. After a moment we realize that it's Junko]

Lynn: Junko! It's us!

Junko: Password.

Kumiko: Can't...breathe...

Lynn: What password? We don't have a password!

Kiku: White trevally!

[Junko releases Kumiko]

Lynn: How did you know that?

Kiku: Know what? Whenever I see Junko I get hungry.

Junko: Don't worry guys, I took care of everything. Help is on the way.

Kumiko: Help? Junko, what's going on? You're acting kind of weird.

[Junko's radio starts to buzz. The shots cut back and forth between her and the one's she's talking with]

Voiceover:7079 do you copy?

Junko: 7079 copies. Who is this?

Pilot: This is Spectre beginning my approach. Confirm coordinates for attack run.

Junko: Copy and coordinates confirmed. Fire for effect on designated area.

Lynn: Junko, what's going on. What's Spectre?

[Cut to the Ac-130. We hear the theme from Space Battleship Yamato start to play. The side doors open and the Vulcan Cannons and 40mm Bofors guns slide into position. We see the various weapons begin to fire. Cut to the girls fleeing those benches into the park. Cut to the girls running through the various eplosions and falling trees in a complete panic. As they flee Gin gets tangled up in the underbrush. Nanae looks back at her. Gin desperately holds out her hand for help in full on Platoon pose and Nanae pastes her with the paintball gun. Cut to Lynn, Kiku and Kumiko running for it. Lynn looks back at Junko, there's an explosion and then Junko has vanished. Soon all the girls, Sakai and Exchange Club are fleeing the destruction together. They run out the far side of the park and leap into a pond, before swimming towards safety. Cut to the principal's office at Seifun High. The whole Foreign Exchange Club is present except for Junko. The girls look like drowned rats, blackened from cordite and those who were shot still have the paintball stains on them. Behind them, we see that the damaged wall is being mended.]

Principal: Well this takes the cake. I keep thinking that there is no depth that you girls can't sink to and every time you amaze me with your criminal cunning. A second international incident because of this. Do you know I am the only principal in the country who has a direct line to the head of the JSDF? That's right, it's the Prime Minister, the Speaker of the House and Me! (shakes his head, takes out his bottle of vodka and pours himself a drink in front of the girls). Principal Kozu from Sakai is threatening legal action of course, like he always does. And let us not forget that you committed the unforgivable crime of leaving a man behind.

Gin: Yeah Nanae!

Principal: Shut up! No more! Now all of you out! I have to call all of your parents and beg them to move out of the city, out of the country, out of my life!

Kumiko: Wait a minute, who won the contest?

Principal: The contest is suspended. Besides, who is left to even collect a flag?

Maya: Anybody seen Junko?

[Cut back to the park. Two terrified Sakai girls are huddled up inside their base. Behind them is a pool of water, a crater that filled with water from a leaking sprinkler pipe.]

Sakai girl: Is it safe? 

Other Sakai Girl: I don't know. Maybe?

[The End by The Doors starts to play. Junko rises silently from the pool of water, chef's knife in hand. She stalks up behind the two unaware girls. Cut to a pastoral scene in Mexico. Some children are raising up a pinata that looks like a bull. Cut back to the park. Junko is looming over the girls like a camouflaged God. Cut to a Mexican child taking a stick and preparing to swing at the pinata. Cut back to the park. Junko raises the knife, the two Sakai girls see her and scream. Cut to Mexico. The little boy hits the pinata on the back of the neck. It's head falls forward and candy spills out]

Mexican Child #1: I can't believe how much candy there is.

Mexican Child laying beneath pinata: I'm covered in candy!

Another Mexican child: There's candy all over my hands! Why can't I get this candy off my hands!

Mexican child #1: (candy spills out of his overstuffed mouth, coughs heavily) The candy! I'm choking on all of my candy!

[Roll closer]

[cut to Junko, Kiku and Shizu sitting at a table. They're surrounded by three Sakai girls with AK-47 paintball guns. Junko holds a revolver to her head, pulls the trigger and then slides it to Shizu]

Junko: It's going to be alright! Just put another bullet in the gun and pull the trigger!

Shizu: I don't like this game anymore!

[Cut to black]


End file.
